This post was originally written in August of 2009. The concepts still remain true. I have since added rule number 4 in 2013. You can find that one at https://bradfordbenn.com/new-year-new-rule/. I am always reviewing the rules. These rules still apply for me.
I was chatting with friends over some fine adult beverages and talking about one of their blog posts. I shared with them my three rules for life; and they said I had to write about them, so that is this entry. Some people have heard these rules before, but that points to the importance and applicability of the rules for many many years now. So here are the three rules:
- I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally.
- If you are not sleeping with me, I don’t care who you are sleeping with.
- Don’t see anyone you work with, without their pants on
So at times it seems like these don’t really make sense until you start thinking about them as they actually apply in daily life. Let’s take a look at each rule.
I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally.
This one is fairly self explanatory; it is my sarcastic/sardonic take on “treat everyone equally”. It seems simple, but you would be amazed at how often people forget that everyone is a person to some degree. My recent trips have reinforced that opinion. I was on a plane full of people flying to LA and there were many children on the plane, all of them – no matter the race, ethnicity, nationality …etc – had trouble using their inside voices and respecting others. So I disliked them all on the plane, as all that I wanted to do was work and then sleep since I couldn’t work. It did not matter their background, they all annoyed me. So it kind of shows how one has to look past the outer skin and see the person for their behaviors and actions; that is what one should be judged on.
If you are not sleeping with me, I don’t care who you are sleeping with.
Everyone kind of goes, “huh?” to this one. However I have found that many people talk about others romantic life and activities. This can be such phrases as “I can’t believe that she is going out with him…” “That person is gay” “I can’t believe that they are getting married” etc. My answer is that I just don’t care, I have other things to worry about. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston getting married, then getting divorced, then Angelina… etc. well how does that impact me? Why should I worry about it. That is one level. The other one is the amount of time people spend gossiping about others personal life. An example being the amount of conversations that was garnered when my wife went out with a male coworker when she worked at the same company. Let’s see I trust my wife, I know the person she went to lunch with, I know he is in a relationship… etc. so why should I care – let alone anyone else I work with. This plays into the other item, he happens to be gay, but since he isn’t sleeping with me and isn’t sleeping with my wife – why should I care who he is sleeping with. But this causeed a huge stir of gossip at my office. Now to follow this completely, since I sleep with my wife I would care if she was sleeping with someone else.
Don’t see anyone you work with, without their pants on
This one applies in two ways, one obvious and one not so obvious. Now before I go into this, in the previous paragraph the astute reader will notice that my wife was working at the same place as I am. However she got the job as a temp after we moved up because of me – so it doesn’t really apply. Also she was in a different part of the building and I would only see here once a day – heck we didn’t even carpool due to the different work schedules. The rest of it still applies, don’t mess around at work. I do not know of many that it has ended well for. That does not mean that people can not meet at work, develop a relationship and then one of them leaves the job – I know many that it has worked for. And there also the case like I had where there is no interaction during the work day, they founded the company together… etc. The other one is that at the end of the day, especially when traveling for work, one wants to be able to get away from work. So when traveling having to share a hotel room with someone is something I won’t do anymore. It also reinforces not to bring work discussion “home” if you are involved with a coworker. I need some time off.
Now that you have seen the rules, I am not going to say that they apply for everyone, each person has to find their own code and rules to live by. These are the ones that work for me. Obviously I can continue to explain how these rules may or may not apply – but they are my rules. Just like an opinion, they can’t be wrong; they can be malformed, objectionable to others, based on incorrect assumptions/ascertions/beliefts …etc. but they can not be wrong.
I have a fourth rule that is currently under review, has been for a couple of years which I am still testing the application… so who knows there might be an addition.